Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Don't Mess With the Wenches Chariot

Once upon a time...

 a wench who works on her magical chariot was rebuilding her brakes. She ordered one front wheel cylinder from her BFF the Fair Maiden Lynda at Myers Studebaker for a hefty amount of about  $40 +.  She ordered the other one from a faceless on-line e-tailer RockAuto for about $18. +.  (OEM part #535585)

Lo and behold, these parts came from the kingdom of the Far East and had the weeping curse put upon them. Neither cylinder would seat at the bleeder screw. How could this be, she thought? The same model parts from different suppliers, yet both are bad in the same way.

She called Ray, the great Wizard, and pleaded for a magic potion to fix her chariot. Ray worked hard upon the problem at hand, but alas, a solution could not be found, it was in fact, hopeless. With a look of fire in his eyes, he suggested that she return these cursed parts and get new ones.

Ray departed upon his diesel cloud at which time the wench began her journey into the land of Refunds/Returns and Customer Service.

Her first stop, her BFF the Fair Maiden Lynda at Myers Studebaker. Lynda listened to the wench as she explained her tale of woe. The Fair Maiden consulted John the Wise who suggested the sleeves are possibly incorrectly tapped and suggested she contact their own distributor to tell her tale. The wench did thus, and spoke with a good gentle man who was very surprised at the claim and showed some initial disbelief, however, when he had heard that the Great Wizard Ray had fire in his eyes, he decided it was best to help the wench out.

He searched his great stash and located two of the last American Made Wagner wheel cylinders for her chariot. He placed them upon a magic carpet which should arrive in a week after visiting the Fair Maiden Lynda to adjust accounts.

Then the wench, after feeling quite good from the experience with Myers Studebaker decided to try her luck with the faceless e-tailer RockAuto. A phone number was supplied with the receipt which she called. A young hansom faceless prince answered the phone, oh what mellifluous words poured from his lips as he slipped into a dream world of policy and warranty jargon. "Your chariot will be sound and you need not worry, we will keep your 18. bucks + shipping for the sheer experience of participating in the growing foggy swamp of cursed parts from the Far East.  Fret not wench, your secrets are safe with us".

The wench issued her own curses upon the young hansome faceless prince and with a final utterance of warning for his future offspring she severed the line of contact forever.

The moral of the story is... Develop relationships with people and companies that give a sh*t, and don't mess with a wenches chariot.

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